My other half, my precious Heather.
She is my life and my world.
She became the reason I lived.
And I just have to say,
that it does take a village to raise a child.
I never really understood what that meant when I was younger, but after experiencing so much more of life, and experiencing raising a child, I see just how true that statement is.
Because if your child only has your perception they become so limited in their thinking.
Experiencing just one way of thinking can become so rigid and so small.
*For a great example the movie called The Room – It explains so much about perception and how only being exposed to one way of thinking can limit learning and thinking.
The truth is, you don’t know what you don’t know.
Now I see the blessing and the benefit of Heather being raised and influenced by others.
Her dad being such a big part of her life.
and her grandmother,
aunts, uncles, cousins, her dad‘s friends,
my best friend Karen
And Heather’s own friends,
and his whole family.
Life is lessons to grow and learn from to get better and better each and every day .
Life is whatever you create it to be.
God gives us life and potential,
It is our job to use that potential.
Every person that has been in Heather‘s life has added to her potential and has planted seeds of love, goodness, kindness and caring.
They have given her new and different perceptions, which in return expands her brain and her way of thinking.
These relationships provide her with the awareness and understanding to learn how to figure herself out.
I am so grateful to have had a village to help raise her, but God knows that I needed help.
I was so damaged at the time.
Hurt people hurt people,
And damaged people damage people.
There was a lot I hadn’t yet learned at the time.
I realize now looking back how much of an anchor Heather was in my life…
She gave me hope and strength.
It was love at its finest, unconditional love
I am so grateful and thankful to God for this precious miracle.
She forever changed my life.
She sent me on a course of wanting to be better for her.
I became an insatiable learner, and I started to devour wisdom and understanding
from God’s word.
I dove into nutrition and physical wellness and emotional well-being.
I learned whatever my brain would allow me to absorb.
I became fascinated with the brain and neuroscience.
I was always wanting to figure out how to grow myself.
I wanted more of Heather,
but I couldn’t give what I didn’t have,
so I had to find it, and get it first, to be able to give it to her.
I was a train wreck from my childhood,
Never having love, stability, or safety.
My childhood was filled with chaos and confusion
Great pain and rejection.
Of course, I couldn’t deny what my counselor said to me after a full year of counseling me…
His words sounded like a big megaphone echoing in my ears,
Like a knife piercing through my heart, my brain, my whole soul, and my whole being.
I actually felt slightly paralyzed.
When I heard his words,
“I’m so sorry you were never loved in your childhood…”
Those words rang in my ears for years,
Even though it wasn’t true, it felt like it was true.
Remember how I said, “hurt people hurt people, and damage people damage people”?
Well, my mom and dad were hurt people and they were both damaged people because their parents were hurt people and damaged as well.
The generational dysfunction goes down like a spiral.
Until someone breaks the chains of bondage.
They couldn’t give what they didn’t have either.
I had to learn to forgive them for what they didn’t know and were not able to give me.
Which is of course what we all want, love.
That’s what we all want in this life.
Human beings were all created for love and purpose.
I didn’t love myself enough for years.
However, I will say it again, my daughter forever changed my life.
I was willing to love her enough to want to change and get better and to learn what I didn’t know.
When I had Heather, it was one of the greatest moments in all my life.
A beautiful bundle of sunshine – so small, so precious.
I thought to myself “Kimmy it’s time for you to step up and get out of the pit”, my great dysfunction of what I knew, that I was living in .
“Your daughter needs you”, I thought to myself “Now, to show up at your best”.
I thank God for His help first.
Because God started to give me love, purpose, value, and wisdom.
I also want to thank each person and every person who has helped me raise this outstanding young woman, of whom I’m so proud.
I sit here today on my rocking chair with my eyes filled with tears streaming down my face of utter joy and happiness, with hopes that by me sharing a piece of my story it will help you on your own journey through life somehow.
I hope I can help you to find a new and different perspective. .
And if you know somebody that needs to hear this story today, please share this with them, and share the love.
We all need it.
For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord plans of good and not of evil to give you a future and a hope and if you seek me you will find me and if you search for me I will be found by you and when you go and pray to me I will answer you.